The fruit that made Oregon famous1
By the early 1900s, maraschinos were all the rage in the United States, largely bobbing around in cocktails like the Manhattan. A New York Times story from Jan. 2, 1910, captured the nation’s maraschino-cherry mania: “A young woman engaged a room at a fashionable hotel and, after ordering a Manhattan cocktail, immediately sent for another. Soon she was ordering them by the dozen. The management interfered and someone was sent to expostulate with her; also to find out how she had been able to consume so many cocktails. She was found surrounded by the full glasses with the cherry gone.”
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Professor Ernest H. Wiegand
Remember that name for he is partly responsible for the up-fucking of mixed drinks. By developing the method for brining cherries to replicate the firmness of the Italian varieties, the Oregon State University professor effectively killed the fancy cherry import industry. Over the years, food manufactures have followed that original process and applied enough Red #40 to trigger behavior problems in kids.2
Stop buying those so called maraschino cherries for your cocktails. The candy-colored cherry zombies were fine when you were a kid but you’re an adult. Hell, I bet you dress like, eat like and make dick jokes like an adult. Unless you’re this guy, why not garnish like you’re all growed up?
Cherries For Sale
The easiest thing to do is buy a jar of Luxardo Maraschino Cherries. These are the real deal, imported from Italy and made with real marasca cherries the original Croatian way. These dark berries have all the sex appeal of Sophia Loren and lack the gummy sweetness of the Americanized version. $17 for 12oz on Amazon.
If you want a tart cherry, try the Amarena Fabbri Italian Cherries. Amarena Fabbri uses wild cherries instead of the dark, almost savory marascas. If they’re too sweet for your drink, use them as an ice cream topping. AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE CHERRIES. $13 for 8oz.
Looking for that top-shelf cherry? Of course you are. You’re a baller. Griottines Morello Cherries from France are the 22” blades on your six-four Impala. $25 for 11.8oz.
DIY Cherry
While it’s still (barely) cherry season and the Republicans are content with using our economy as their own personal Flesh Light, you may want to consider making your own brandied cherries. I can’t begin to tell you how easy it is so I won’t. Instead, check out the following recipes and get at them cherries yourself. Experiment a bit and let us know how they turn out.
LUPEC with Dale DeGroff’s Maraschino recipe: LUPEC - DIY Maraschino Cherries
12 Bottle Bar brines their cherries: 12 Bottle Bar - Homemade…
Sloshed! has a more traditional recipe: SLOSHED! - Brandied Cherries
Art of Drink with a scientific method: Art of Drink - Maraschino and Cocktail Cherries
I’m a fan of adding a half cup of dark rum and a half to one ounce of Angostura bitters during the maceration, or resting, period. In a pinch, go ahead and buy frozen cherries. It’s fine. Experiment a bit and take control of your cherries.
The darker the berry the sweeter the juice3, indeed. Tupac didn’t come up with that saying and he was completely wrong about Alizé, but when it comes to cocktail garnishes no truer words have ever been spoken.
Now go on and order yourself a dozen or so manhattans.
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Written by Inara Verzemnieks. Good read for Instapaper or what have you. ↩
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No, really - Food additives and hyperactive behaviour in 3-year-old and 8/9-year-old children in the community: a randomised, double-blinded, placebo-controlled trial ↩
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There’s a double meaning among African-Americans. It has changed slightly over the generations— a motto of sorts abetting intra-racial discrimination, a cautionary reminder to black men to stay away from white women and most recently, black-centric, female pride. Check out the preview of Dark Girls on Vimeo if you’re interested. ↩
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