From Panama—who you might remember from such hit plagues as Malaria, Yellow Fever, and Mariano Rivera—comes the latest attempt to cash in on the recent “Accidentally Drink Yourself Into a Coma” fad.

Introducing, Scotch whisky. In a can.

That’s right, mate. It’s twelve ounces of pure McCentral American malted bliss. Crafted from a “Very Rare Blend” of unspecified whiskies; aged in the finest industrial tanks for an undisclosed period; and packaged in a conveniently non-resealable beer can that fits any standard huggie and complements the bloodied upholstery of your soon-to-be-overturned vehicle.

Now technically it can’t be called “Scotch” since it isn’t made in, you know, SCOTLAND. But that little international handshake agreement doesn’t thwart the gamechangers at Scottish Spirits from moving ahead with their strategy anyway.

According to Eater, the company plans to promote the product for sale at outdoor venues.

Not a horrible plan when you think about it. After all, what Scottish-themed outdoor event isn’t inarguably more tolerable after eight shots of aluminum-flavored Panamanian coffin varnish? I’m looking at you, Drunken Sheeptossing Tournaments, Big Country Reunion Concerts, and Golf.

(Link + Photo via Mail Online)

Posted at 9:25am.