At the end of a busy school day, kids need some love from a relaxed, supportive parent. At the end of a busy work day, some of us need a little help to become that parent. Here’s what to do when the closest mixer is a juice box.

Playground Vacation

1 box tropical fruit juice
2 oz. rum
squeeze of lime

Pour ingredients into a sports water bottle packed with ice. Shove bottle in diaper bag; will self-shake en route to playdate.

Mommy Needs a Minute¹

1 box apple juice
2 oz. bourbon
dash Angosturra bitters

Build over ice. Stir gently with a pen, crayon, finger or any other stick-shaped object. Garnish with tears.

Sippy’s Surprise

half-full sippy cup (contents unimportant)
2 oz. liquor (type unimportant)

Take whatever liquid your kid refused to drink. Add booze and ice. Replace lid. Keep out of reach of children.

Emergency Mimosa

Citrus flavored drink mix
Vodka
Any carbonated beverage

Recommended only under the most serious circumstances. This is a terrible drink.

Goldfish Corpse Reviver

1 oz. gin
1/2 oz. Lillet Blanc
1/2 oz. Cointreau
1/2 oz. lemon juice
splash of absinthe
small bowl of fish-shaped crackers

Scoop your child’s dead goldfish out of fishbowl and flush discreetly. Shake gin, Lillet, Cointreau, lemon juice and absinthe with ice and strain into a chilled martini glass. Give cracker bowl to child while explaining, “While you were at school, Goldie turned into a delicious snack for us to enjoy!” Drink cocktail.

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse

1 box pink lemonade
2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. grenadine
squeeze of lime

Fill highball glass with ice. Add lemonade, tequila, grenadine, lime to taste. Stir with crazy straw.

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1. h/t to our friends at You Look Nice Today ↩

Posted at 11:24am and tagged with: Kim,.